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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24416254">what you know and what you don't (and what you'll learn along the way)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingshitpost/pseuds/emrys'>emrys (livingshitpost)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>CC-2224 | Cody Needs a Hug, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, First Kiss, Forbidden Love, Gentle Kissing, Getting Together, Humanity, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Power Dynamics, Power Exchange, Power Imbalance, Self-Esteem, Self-Esteem Issues, True Love, Trust, Very very brief suicidal ideation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:08:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>840</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24416254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingshitpost/pseuds/emrys</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cody knows what love is. But this is different and new and it terrifies him more than any battlefield.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>258</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>what you know and what you don't (and what you'll learn along the way)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this one goes out t all th dumbasses in th bucketfucker disco. my food aint tht good bt i will continue to serve it fr yall</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cody knows love. He knows devotion and allegiance, loyalty and commitment. He knows nobility and sacrifice. His faith in the Republic has been instilled in him since before he could understand words, and burns bright in the center of his chest like a holy flame.</p><p>What he doesn't know is this warmth in his heart. This tremor in his very soul that makes his cheeks flush and words evade him like an ash-rabbit scurrying into a burrow, hiding from the blaster rifle of a hunter. This recurring, irritating thought that screams <em>his hand is right there; take it in your own</em> is completely unfamiliar and his pulse quickens every time it strikes.</p><p>His general is kind enough to ignore it.</p><p>He lies awake in his bunk some nights; staring at the ceiling of his tiny personal quarters and weighing his options. Perhaps it would be nice. <em>And if it isn't? If he doesn't feel the same?</em> And if he does? <em>And if someone finds out? If you're caught fraternizing with your commanding officer? If someone thinks he's taken advantage of his position for his own reasons? If he insists on taking the blame? If he's expelled from the Order?</em></p><p>He turns onto his side and rests his head on his arm, clutching his pillow to his chest. <em>Get it together, trooper.</em></p><p>He's not one for crying, but a handful of tears sometimes escape him with a soft sob that nobody else hears.</p><p>Cody knows he isn't made for love. He knows he's made for war and battle, loss and bloodshed. He's made for duty and service. He leads his vod'e marching to their deaths without question, believing he's on the right side because he can't consider the alternative.</p><p>What he doesn't know is what to do with this humanity. This longing for something else. Less or more or simply <em>different</em>; it doesn't really matter. <em>Echo'yaim</em>, someone told him once. Searching for home. Mourning it because perhaps it might never be found.</p><p>But, oh, perhaps he's already found it.</p><p>His shoulders tremble as he realizes what just happened. Coming down from the high of adrenaline is maybe the stupidest thing he's ever done. But with his general pressing him, <em>pushing him</em>, there was nothing he could do but push back. And that meant spilling his guts onto the floor of the cargo bay. (He wishes they really <em>had</em> spilled; at least it would give him a distraction.)</p><p>"Nevermind," he says lowly.</p><p>"Cody-"</p><p>"Just- Just ignore it. Ship me off for reconditioning. Court martial me and have me shot in the head. I don't care. I just can’t go another karking day knowing that if — that <em>when</em> I die, I'll have been the only one who knew I loved you. I can't die without telling you, General. I'm sorry."</p><p>He doesn't look up from the ground. He doesn't need to. He can see the man's face in his mind. Knitted brows and blue eyes soft with concern. That, or a cold glare. Or perhaps a warm smile. Stars, he can't decide which is worst. He wishes there would be some sort of freak accident that would suck him into the vacuum of space and he could freeze and burn and suffocate. It couldn't be any worse than this. He closes his eyes as he's approached.</p><p>Two hands take his, gentle and almost hesitant. Shaking.</p><p>"I'm not going to ship you off or court martial you," he says softly, his gaze fixed on the floor. "I . . . I will admit, I've been struggling with the same feelings myself. But I didn't want to risk coercing you. I didn't want to force you into something you didn't want. I planned to take it to my grave, if need be."</p><p>It's like his heart stops. He cups the shorter man's face with one hand, almost smiling at the way his general leans into his touch.</p><p>"Cyare." It's barely a breath, but he can see the way it makes his companion shiver ever so slightly. He tilts his chin up and brushes their lips together as softly as he possibly can, as though to say <em>run away and don't kiss back. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to screw this up.</em> His eyes prick with the agony of holding back everything he's never said.</p><p>And then Obi-Wan kisses him back.</p><p>Cody shudders, placing his free hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder to pull him closer. Obi-Wan's arms wrap themselves around his waist. He's never hated his armor more.</p><p>Obi-Wan pulls away, but doesn't <em>pull away</em>. He stands there flush against Cody in the darkened corner of the cargo bay and smiles. He makes no move to remove his hands from the small of his back.</p><p>Cody chuckles as he presses their foreheads together. "Could've been doing that all this time," he notes. "Bit of a waste."</p><p>Obi-Wan hums. "I suppose." He sighs easily. "But, if you wanted, we could start making up for it now."</p><p>"Yeah," Cody says with a nod. "I think I'd like that.</p>
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